Although not related to my triplets, I was wondering if any of you with pre-teens are dealing with the "boyfriend" issue at school with your girls?
My daughter is 11 and last year (5th grade) the whole school was fixated on boyfriend drama. EVEN THE TEACHERS! Who was "going out" with who? Who is "breaking up" with who? Who is "cheating"on who? CHEATING??? HOLY CRACKERS! What happened to my innocent little girl?

For 3rd and 4th grade, she attended a Christain Academy in NV. This was so not an issue! Then we moved here for her 5th grade year and it's all anyone talks about. This year, for 6th grade, we are homeschooling in an effort to redirect her attention back to her studies. However, she does go to the middle school for band in the afternoons. Yesterday, she comes home and HAS A BOYFRIEND AGAIN!!! What?

Is this just a regional thing? Are you guys dealing with this too? Everyone here keeps telling me it's an innocent "role playing" thing. I don't see it as so innocent. Is it posisble that I am just old fashion? When did that happen? LOL!

I would love to hear what everyone else is dealing with and how it is being managed in your family.

I have to second that yikes. My kids are 11 and while 2 of them have someone of the opposite sex they like more than most there is no 'going out', 'cheating' or 'breaking up' or anything. The teachers getting involved adds to the insanity.

I would not see all that as innocent role playing either. If that is what is happening in elementary school, junior high must be something else.

My neck of the world is socially quite conservative- junior highs actually ban make-up and hair-dye. As a kid, I wouldn't be happy but as a parent...liking that.

I am interested in seeing what others are dealing with.

"

My girls are in 6th grade and my son in 8th.
In our school (catholic) it seems between 5th and 6th the hormones rise and crushes develope.
By 7th and 8th, many kids are "going together". Now mind you, this means they talk at school, maybe call on the phone and sit together at lunch.

One of the things I started when my son was in 6th grade were class outings. In the fall I oraganized a hayride/bonfire. In the winter we did iceskating and in spring, bowling.
My objective was to show the kids that boys and girls can be friends and have fun in whays that don't involve "falling in love"
By 7th grade, my son's class was frequently going to movies together (in large groups), going sledding and it was not an issue if someone from the opposite sex called.
My daughters class is much higher in girls than boys so I am more worried about the tension. So far we have done the hayride, which went well, and the kids seem to be more relaxed around each other.

Luckily, so far, all the "love interests" have had easy break ups and they all remain friends. I do have to remind my son that girls don't listen the same as boys. Girls hear EVERY WORD YOU SAY AND WILL ANALYSE IT TO DEATH. "I love you" means more to them.

Good Luck. Growing up is hard ON PARENTS!!


Judie and Victor
lucky parents to
Frankie 3/95
Maggie 7/96
Rose 7/96
Elizabeth 7/96

Thanks for your valuable suggestions and comments about outing.I think this could be a right time to go outings.Let them enjoy.
---------------
siva

http://www.widecircles.com

My kids (GBG) are now 15 1/2 and Sophmores in HS. I was concerned through middle school because of the whole drama. I seems tha t the kids were tuned to who was going with what and it became their soap opera. Even though i was not officially informed I know my kids had "relationships" through the middle school years.They never went out anywhere but "were going out in the school" Even though my DH might not agree, those relationships will help them establish the pattern for the future relationships. It is the time to have conversations about growing up (birds and bees) and what to expect and what do you expect from her in the future. As far as this not being an issue in a Christian School, as per my daughters friends experience they deal with the same just keep it quiet from adults... I can tell you the stories I have heard.
There is a great booklet from the American Medical Association, directed at teens and preteens and it talks about deciding to delay the decision to become intimate with someone and why. I read it to the kids, one of their friends and the girls boyfriends altogether and let them comment and ask questions. It was a real cool experience and the boyfriends know what i expect from them.

Cynthia

After I read this post, I cornered my 14yo dd to get some feedback. She had a few friends that started "dating" as early as 5th grade. "Dating" at that age was basically "staking a claim",lol. Pretty harmless stuff I think. Dd and I both agree that it is pretty warped that the teachers at the school are getting involved in the drama. That's just weird.

Dd has gone on a few dates this year, but it's never been one-on-one. It's always with a group of guys and girls and usually a movie, football game or bowling. She doesn't plan on getting serious with anyone because she "doesn't want to complicate her highschool experience with boyfriend drama"--her words,lol!

I love her response. Wish I had had that much sense! Sounds like you have a good one, there, momma!

Susanne

gbg @ 31.6
5/2006

She's a keeper. I just hope she continues to think that way,kwim. Ya never know if some guy is gonna sweep her off her feet someday!LOL!
That's what happened with her Daddy and I!

One of my boys (6th graders) has had a "girlfriend" since 4th grade -- and as others have noted, not too serious of a relationship (no dating, etc). Some hand-holding, though. My other two boys -- one definitely has nothing to do with girls at this time, and the other would like to have every girl as his girlfriend, thus has none.


Vaughn and the ABC Boys
Alex, Bryce, & Calder
3-31-97 @ 28.5 weeks
http://s515.photobucket.com/albums/t356/vaughn3abc/

Ye gads!
From a teacher's perspective knowing "who's going out with whom" allows teacher to keep an eye out for an issues which might rear their ugly head. I wanted to know what was going on in my classroom for management purposes. Never know when jealousy kicks in, avoidance or overzealous touching, etc.

I'm grateful to be homeschooling for the peer issues. DS had a girlfriend in 4th grade. My girls were all interested well before that age, and are just too flippin' young to handle guy drama. So not worth the time yet.
Tracey
Homeschooling Mom to:
Michael, Soccer Dude (12)
Francesca, Classical Guitarist (11)
Matthew, Slide Tackle Soccer Dude (9)
Alexis, Sweet Gymnast (9)
Gabrielle, Sassy Gymnast (9)

Host mom to:
Johannes, German exchange student (18)
Torunn, Norwegia

ETA: I just learned that the national average to begin dating is 11-14 years old. How is this possible? And what qualifies as "dating"? Texting, talking on phone, movies, what?!
Tracey
Homeschooling Mom to:
Michael, Soccer Dude (12)
Francesca, Classical Guitarist (11)
Matthew, Slide Tackle Soccer Dude (9)
Alexis, Sweet Gymnast (9)
Gabrielle, Sassy Gymnast (9)

Host mom to:
Johannes, German exchange student (18)
Torunn, Norwegia